Monday 21 February 2011

CONTROL(LED) CRISIS!

Last  week saw me having a crisis of my self control. I felt like things were running away with me and I couldn’t  seem to reel them back in but I found a solution – phew I hear you say! I have to be less strict with myself and need to take things back to what is the priority and what I can lose control of until another time in my life.
The highlight of this so say crisis was completing the Exeter Half and realising that I could do a marathon (this had been a mental barrier all along) and actually wanted to do one for the first time in the 2 years that I have been running.  I feverishly logged on to Runners World and trawled through the list of all the marathons coming up in the Spring. As my training has been going so well I would have been half way to getting the training accomplished for a marathon so felt it was well within my sights. Unfortunately as I had left it so late to let my mind decide I could do a marathon, I found the ideal first races were all full. Stress then took over and I felt that I needed to get into a marathon no matter what and was still researching possible races until midnight one evening, until I finally resorted to getting some shut eye and leaving it until tomorrow.
Thank goodness I did, some sense of normality possessed me the following day and I realised that it was not a race to get into any marathon and that this year would not be the best year to try for one. That put to bed the feeling of desperation to find the best race and also helped me realise what I want to get out of my running. I also felt I could nurture friendships more as I wasn’t fighting training time with friends time. I have some wonderful friends, some going through some painful, stressful times at the moment and I really want to be there for them as and when they need me, without the feeling of needing to do something else instead and compromising the time I can give to them.
I love running because I can and it makes me realise how very lucky I am just to be able to get up and out and reinforces all that is good in my life, I have my health, happiness and (sometimes) sanity alongside a great family life and I should just relish this.
When the running becomes stressful or makes me anxious then I have to reel myself back in and take stock of the purpose of it in my life. Needless to say marathon applications are scheduled for 2012 and this year is about enjoying the challenge of increasing my pace within a half marathon or 10K race and taking part in Bude triathlon with my husband and brother in law.
Stress lifted and some great things to look forward to = a happier, less anxious Mrs T

3 comments:

  1. Fantastic post Lara, I really empathise with this! Couldn't agree more about so much of running being what's going on in your mind, never mind your actual body. You will achieve anything you set your mind to, you are amazing! Can't wait to see those 1/2 marathon & 10k pb's and cheer you on in the Bude Triathalon. Xx

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  2. Thank you! Am really looking forward to trying some new things with my running, the trail run and triathlon should be good experiences. You, better than anyone, understands how running can go in peaks and troughs, been in a trough but am peaking - watch out everyone!!
    Here's to a great year of running for us both x

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  3. Loving this blog Lara, and yes really depends wots in the mind can determine a good run. I think I would have lost the plot last year with personnel circumstances if I handnt had that 26m challenge to keep me focused. I have too been troughing!!! recently but found a fantastic 10k on Sunday from nowhere and a good 5k on Tuesday so looks like peak is coming again and begining to feel like a runner again. :-) xxx

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